The Adventures of Joe and Abi: How Joe became a vegetarian

One of the things Joe and I enjoyed doing together during our long-distance courtship was playing Scrabble on Facebook - it's so much fun that we still play frequently that way, more often than playing a "real" game of Scrabble.

We both enjoy reading, writing, and word games...so it was a natural progression for us to combine all these things in our Scrabble games. We decided to write a story along with the Scrabble game: every word we played had to be worked into the story somehow, as we went along. The resulting stories have often been both goofy and downright hilarious. :D An obvious side benefit is that we have to look up the meaning of each word and use it properly - so we're learning lots of fun new words also (another thing we both enjoy).

I've saved the text from these stories, calling them "The Adventures of Joe and Abi." Would you like a peek at a chapter? :) The words in CAPS are the words played in the game.

The Adventures of Joe and Abi: How Joe Became a Vegetarian

One day Joe was feeling oddly hungry and decided to grill himself a nice piece of BEEF.

Unfortunately there was no beef to be found in his fridge, so he went out and bought some BICORN instead.

"No bicorns were HARMED in the making of this steak," Joe read from the label. He raised his eyebrows suspiciously.

He decided he'd better HURL the steak as far from himself as possible for the packaging's shameful lies.

Joe stepped out his door and, with a loud BELLOW, let the bicorn steak fly with a fast overhand throw to the east.

"I wonder if I can join that CLIQUE of meat connoisseurs that Abi belongs to?" he thought to himself.

"Or, maybe if I can't join, I can snag her LOGINS to the CLIQUE'S website and see what they say about bicorn steaks."

"Until then, perhaps I can be content with some GUAVA."

Grabbing his bottle of guava and a bag of GRATED cheese to munch on, Joe sat down at the computer to see if he could catch Abi on chat and convince her to tell him the passwords to the meat clique website.

While he waited for Abi to sign on, he decided to look for a sale on TOWELS.

Quickly becoming bored, Joe's eyes became heavy and he spent the next hour in a DOZE at his desk.

While sleeping, he dreamed of several CANTOS that he might use to win Abi's affection (as well as access to her logins).

Unfortunately his dreams then turned to scenes of being trapped in a ZEK, and he jolted awake with a groan.

He went to find some coffee, which always PACIFIED his waking fears.

"Why can't I ever find a clean mug when I need one?" Joe GRIPEd.

Suddenly it clicked in his mind. "I must be paying for all those times I skipped out on PE."

"Oy, GUV," he said to the butler. "Would you mind pouring me a cup o' coffee?"

"ER..." the butler hesitated. "I thought you were an EX-coffee drinker? Something about it having too much XI baryon and all that...?"

"Of course, that's IT," Joe agreed. He looked out the window. "Hey, look, that chicken is OVIPOSITing!"

Realizing he was getting distracted, Joe went back to the computer, turned it ON, and signed IN to see if NAN (his new nickname for Abi) was on yet. "Just so I don't end up chatting with her PA again..." Joe murmured.

Nan popped onto the video instant messaging program and was, for some strange reason, wearing a JIJAB.

"Oh, JO," she said sweetly, her voice muffled under the fabric of her headdress. "See this lovely URN I just painted?"

"It looks like an ordinary JAR with bruises," Joe thought to himself. This was not what he wanted to talk to Nan about.

"Do you know how to DARN socks?" he asked, hoping to ease into getting her logins.

"Oh, yes," she answered impatiently. "EM taught me how years ago. But I want you to look at the beautiful MATT finish on my urn. It was very difficult to get it just right."

"Wow, that's BEEFY!" Joe exclaimed, using the current slang of the youth.

Glad that she finally had Joe's ATT., Abi continued to talk about her urn and her hijab, and all her latest projects. Joe eventually gave up on the idea of trying to get her logins, and decided to become a vegetarian. And they both lived happily ever after.

The End.

Want to read more of Joe and Abi's adventures? Leave a comment and tell us if you think painted urns look like jars with bruises. And if you've ever dreamed of being trapped in a zek, we want to hear about it!

Decidedly Indecisive

One of the things Joe and I have had to learn about each other, especially since getting married, is that we both have very different approaches to decision-making. Joe can usually make up his mind pretty quickly, unless it's a situation where he doesn't really care one way or another (quite frequent). I, on the other hand, prefer to check out the options at least a bit, to be sure I am making a choice I will be completely happy with - and in the end I do usually have a pretty distinct preference. Thankfully this hasn't been a real source of conflict, but we've both definitely had a chance to learn patience with each other. :)

The funny thing is, before I got married I thought I was decisive and able to make up my mind quickly. Ha! I'm realizing now that I was comparing myself to my family and...well, let's just say that they tend to take a while to decide on pretty much anything. ;) Guess that's what happens when two second-borns get married, hehe. Growing up in that environment definitely taught a lot of patience to this naturally go-to, decisive firstborn - God knew I needed it to become more balanced. :)

This familial indecisiveness has resulted in some hilarious experiences over the years, as I recorded in a journal entry from 2004 (a few of you may remember seeing this on LJ back then). Names have been changed to protect the innocent. ;)

Scene: A vanful of 10 people, three generations. Characters are tired from a 4-day trade show; most have head colds in various stages. Time is 7:00 p.m. on a dark winter evening.

The trailer is finally packed with booth remnants and characters load into the van. Amid noisy protests from Tired People, Hungry People cautiously bring up the idea of getting something to eat before heading home. Head Of The Family is favorable to the idea, especially when a sub sandwich coupon is found. Hungry People's hopes rise.

Driver finds Subway in the maze of the unknown city and parks vehicle. An observant Tired Person points out that the coupon in hand is not actually for Subway. Head Of The Family suddenly remembers that "gobs and gobs" of crackers and granola bars are already somewhere in the van, and suggests that Hungry People eat them.

Hungry People want something besides crackers and granola bars, but resign themselves to such if that is what the Head Of The Family wants. They don't have to have more food. They will survive.

Head Of The Family reconsiders, saying that maybe Subway will accept the coupon anyway and asks who will go in and find out. Finally two Hungry People and one impatient Tired Person go in to Subway with the Head Of The Family. After ten minutes of reading the shockingly high priced menu, they come back out and announce that Subway does not accept the coupon. Hungry people sigh and resign themselves to starvation.

Confused Driver starts van and heads for the highway. Head Of The Family sees a grocery store and tells Confused Driver to stop. Do the Hungry People want to see if the deli has something reasonably priced? Do the Hungry People want to buy bread to make sandwiches? No, even crackers and granola bars sound better than deli food. Tired People's hopes rise.

Confused Driver again turns van towards the highway. Head Of The Family sees a pizza shop and realizes he has a coupon for it. Do the Hungry People want pizza? One Very Hungry Person replies with a definite affirmative. Head Of The Family tells Confused Driver to stop, but it is too late. They must go all the way to the end of the busy block and turn the awkward rig around in a small parking lot.

Finally back at the pizza shop, Head Of The Family goes in and orders a pizza. The next ten minutes are spent deciding if the Hungry People, the Tired People, or the Head Of The Family should pay for the pizza. The Tired People end up paying for it, even though they have no plans to eat any themselves. Hungry People feel bad for bringing up the idea of food in the first place.

Head Of The Family goes in and fetches the solitary pizza. It smells good, but the crust is literally cracker-thin, the cheese is sparse and runny, and the hamburger is represented by distantly-spaced lumps. Even the Hungry People vehemently agree that it wasn't worth $10.

Confused Driver quickly consumes a flimsy piece of pizza and then finally turns the van homeward, much to the relief of Tired People and Hungry People alike.

...and now you all know why we usually end up taking all our own food with us on trips. ;)

So, tell me: are you decisive? Do you think it has anything to do with birth order or upbringing, or just the way God made our personalities all a bit different?